Here is the story of my journey with the ups and downs of weight loss. I know I tell clients to not judge themselves by what size pants they wear, but to be completely honest this is where we start noticing weight gain making us feel uncomfortable with who we are.
Oh the good old days, 16 years old working hard on my father’s farm and not to mention the potato farm my mother worked at during the summer, Cheerleading camps, swimming and just being a teenage girl. I never worried about what I ate, in fact I shocked people with the amount of food I ate.
I realize now that this is a critical point in so many people’s lives, how they learn to feel about food and were eating disorders are born. I remember my mother saying, “Nikki, really? Six taco’s?!?!.” But I didn’t ever take it to heart, more of a challenge really and I was hungry. But my activity level was through the roof, so my body could handle extra calories. But for so many young women and men, a parents/ friends/ or teachers reaction to what their eating can stick with them forever. And in some cases lead to an issue with eating disorders in the future.
Lesson 1: Always approach food as a fuel, teaching a child to eat to give energy to their body is an excellent way to show them how metabolism works and that we need fuel to do our everyday activities. But teach healthy portion sizes and options, this is where I started to go wrong, just because I could eat it, doesn’t mean I should have eaten it. It’s a hard balance but being open with kids of all ages about food, may help us avoid lifelong issues.
That 23rd year of my life I started to get a real eye opener, I had been working at the Animal Hospital for 7 years give or take and food was fast and cheap. It was nothing to go out and grab a foot long sub because it was easier or 2 hamburgers and fries with a coke for lunch. I was wearing scrubs all the time and I wasn’t hard to hide the gain. A major down side, my migraines accelerated dramatically. I had gained a substantial amount of weight, and was on blood pressure medication and migraine injections. I still had the appetite of the 16 year old, just in a much less active, improperly fed young adult.
Lesson 2: Cheap and easy are never the way to go in life, it won’t last and/or it will wreck you.
Wow, I really did let it get this bad. I remember looking at my 30th birthday pictures thinking, I hate myself, this isn’t me. That day is in my mind vividly. I remember wearing spanks for days before hand so I would fit in my outfit. Then, I hate to say, I didn’t eat. It really sincerely makes me sad that I thought so little of myself just because on how I looked. But I guess that is where we learn to grow, with the bad comes the good. And I decided to take my life back; I made the call to the gym.
Lesson 3: Spanks suck, please don’t squish your organs into a tube of spandex, it really isn’t good for you and isn’t the real you…
Everyone needs that jumping point, that I HAVE TO DO SOMETHING point of desperation. This was mine, I didn’t want to go to the ER with migraines, I didn’t want to buy more cloths that I would never wear, and I didn’t want to feel like a slug. This was the day that changed my life.
3 years, 74 lbs later…… I never would have thought I could be size 1, I was so proud of myself. I was fanatic about what I ate, when I ate, what I drank, how much I worked out, supplements I took…. In hind sight, it was too much and it was not healthy. I was using little tricks someone had taught me, that I won’t mention now or ever to a client or friend because they are unhealthy. They were quick fixes that were ok for short term goals, but incredibly bad for my body long term. I had developed my own disorder, one I had never thought I would have, but clearly I was letting it run my life. It honestly changed who I was I was obsessed with the whole process, and in the long run it cost me friends, and almost my marriage.
Lesson 4: Working out and eating right is important, but obsessing over a number can ruin your life. Aim for health, happiness, and being comfortable in your own skin.
Welcome to my world now, and I am at total peace with this. I know I am not the skinniest girl in the gym, but I love every inch of me inside and out. I feel awesome, no migraines, no high blood pressure. I keep active, but I also have a life, not every minute is dedicated to killing myself 3 times a day in the gym. I eat, and I am back to loving every bite of every meal and giving myself the fuel I need to run my crazy life. I feel stronger than ever physically, and in the friendships I have and my marriage to the best man in the world. Taking that step back, and realizing I am not meant to be a size 1, just a size me. I only want to be happy, healthy and able. And that is the last lesson.
With Love, Nikki Fiel
Fit Nik Healthy Lifestyle Coaching, 989–390–3974, firstname.lastname@example.org